Mary Sue's Adventures in Atreia
by Shiny Silver Eevee
Summary: My first story. AU. A half Elyos, half Asmodian Ranger is tasked with saving the world from an evil, corrupting places one at a time. Join her and her friends as they battle monsters, watch one of the friends go psycho, and terrorize innocent civilians. But, in the end, will our clichéd heroine save the day? The triumphant return is here!
1. Prologue

**My first story. So... You can review it if you want.**

Prologue

A girl of fourteen walked past the streets of the bustling Sanctum. She was pretty, having long brown hair and sparkling gray eyes. She was also part Elyos, part Asmodian.  
>However, guys seemed to like her. There might be a reason behind this.<br>You see, the girl's name was Mary Sue. (Name of the Year)  
>Even the gods themselves had a crush on her.<br>It is speculated that one day got drunk, and chose the person with the most overused character trope fanfics have ever seen to be their chosen one.  
>That person was Mary Sue.<p>

* * *

><p>Mary Sue barged in the house, nearly scaring her mother to death, Her younger brothers were not startled and ran up to her.<br>"Mom wants to kick you out of the house," the eldest of the brothers told her.  
>"Why me, a normal girl?" Mary Sue asked.<br>"Those boys," the youngest brother said. "They keep on trespassing on our property just to see you."  
>"Damn it."<br>"You have one minute to pack," her mother said.  
>"One minute?" Mary Sue was in shock.<br>"The sooner you leave, the sooner we can get rid of those boys. Now, hurry, your minute's running up!"  
>Mary Sue could only get a few things. Her bow, a quiver of arrows, a cloak, and a paper with the lyrics to "Forgotten Sorrow" on it.<br>Then her family kicked her out.  
>And everything went from there.<p>

**Yeah, not very good for a prologue. But, don't worry! This is a parody of those Mary Sue fics like "My Immortal", where the plot come out of nowhere. So that means this is most likely a trollfic, written by me, a troll.  
>However, sorry for the lack of comedy in the prologue. Future chapters will have comedy and more Mary Sue tropes.<br>**


	2. Chapter 1: A Hobo in the Streets

**Lets just say this: I thought the prolouge was horrible and now I'm going to make a decent chapter. And there will be lawls. I claim no content in this story.**

**Chapter 1- A Hobo in the Streets**

**3 years later...**

Mary Sue, now 16, roamed her home, the streets. She was now extremely skinny, and her clothes were ragged. She could barely hunt peoples pets without going to jail. And jail was not for overpowered beauties like Mary Sue.

She did, however, get at least one scrap of food a day. Why? Because the boys, of course, thought she was pretty.

She often tried to sing that song she brought with her as much as she could,and it attracted more people, because she was perfect at everything. (Of course)

Despite that, she didn't earn any cash.

* * *

><p>One guy she knew well due to his obvious crush on her visited Mary Sue frequently. His name was Shaun, a less fancier name most people had. He often came to hear her sing. He, like other people, said she was better at making music just by stringing her arrow than Songweavers themselves. And she apparently had a singing voice nicer than a whale, according to him.<p>

Did Mary Sue like Shaun in a more-than-just-a-friend way? Hell to the no! She was like most other girls, having a crush on Harry Styles. (I'll be referencing the real world. A lot) Every girl besides some author who calls herself Silver has a celeb crush. Like that Songweaver, Carlius, who became a girl's living dream. He often played at the Elyos Square. And girls went CRAZY over him. Girls wouldn't even touch Shaun. Unless it was Mary Sue.

Not only was Mary Sue kind, but she was *gasp* gorgeous!

On one certain day, Shaun visited Mary Sue. She was... er... staring at some hot shirtless guys nearby. And that's no good!

"Mary Sue, sweet Mary Sue, can you see I visited you?"

"What?" Mary Sue looked at Shaun.

"I see you haven't eaten much in weeks. Is it okay if I buy you something for lunch?"

"Who gives a damn about lunch? Hot. Shirtless. Guys." Mary Sue stared in awe at the shirless guys.

Shaun looked over and saw the shirtless guys. _Damn it! _He thought; _How am I gonna get Mary Sue if she is staring at some pointless shirtless guy? Even the author herself doesn't think shirtless guys are hot!_

"Can I do anything for you, Mary Sue?"

"Yeah. Take me on a adventure or something. But like that's gonna happen."

Then a lightbulb went of in Shaun's head.

"I have a couple of friends that like adventuring. Perhaps we can all go adventuring together?"

"Are your friends hot shirtless guys?"

"... No. But one of them is Carlius, that street preformer."

"Wait? I thought you two didn't get along."

"How the hell did you know we didn't get along?"

"I recently discovered I could read minds."

**DUN DUN DUN! Mary Sue has extraordinary powers! Like most Mary Sues. Well, I felt the first chapter was MUCH better than the prolouge, and starting to make a little sense. Until next time, see ya!**


	3. Chapter 2: The Adventure Begins

**Chapter 2: The Adventure Begins**

**Next chapter. Obviously. Read it, review it! Feedback helps.**

"I get your name now! You ARE a Mary Sue if you have these kinds of powers." Shaun simply said.

"Wait, of course I'm Mary Sue. Haven't we been friends for a couple of years?"

Shaun rolled his eyes. Mary Sue obviously never heard of fanfics such as _My Immortal _and _My Inner Life_. But, she was a hobo. So he just shrugged that off.

"Whatever. Are we gonna meet your 'friends' or not?" Mary Sue asked.

"Yeah, of course. HEY, YOU FILTHY EXCUSE OF A SONGWEAVER! GET THE HELL OVER HERE!"

Carlius knew he was the Songweaver Shaun was talking about. I mean, they both had a crush on a certain hobo and often got into arguements for her affection. They even knew Mary Sue herself knew about it.

Carlius walked up to them.

"I see you're still jelly that I'm the most beautiful thing besides Mary Sue to walk on Elysea."

Did I forget to mention Carlius was extremely narcissistic? Common for an Elyos.

"Aion damnit, SHUT THE HELL UP!" Shaun yelled so loud everyone nearby looked at Shaun and Carlius.

"Do you mind it if you be quiet?" A girl said.

Mary Sue was embarrassed. She grabbed the young men and dragged them to a tavern's basement. Yeah, you-know-who was so gorgeous that the tavern's owner let them use the basement for free.

A tomboyish Chanter named Ocean noticed them, walking to the basement. She was a good friend to Shaun. In fact, they were besties.

"Yo, Shaun! I see you brought that hobo and that arrogant bastard with you!" Her feminine voice rang through their ears. "I suppose you kidnapped him! Mind I give that merciless little-"

"I did _not _kidnap Carlius. Mary Sue just brought us to the tavern."

"So that puny little hobo kidnapped you two?"

"NO ONE KIDNAPPED ANYONE!"

"Damn. I do love watching innocent damsels in distress cry their asses off."

"But you are a beautiful, charming young woman! How can you be so cruel?!" Carlius exclaimed.

"Parental problems. I wanted to be a Gladiator, but I _had _to follow family traditions."

Mary Sue giggled. "You look so feminine! I mean, you wear pink for example!"

"Pink is a manly color. Girls just like to ignore the fact and want to look like Barbies."

"These are your friends?! They are so weird!" Mary Sue said to Shaun.

"Steriotypical much? Ocean is nice once you get to know her, and Carlius... He's just Carlius."

"Fine... Maybe they are nice people."

"I can't gurantee that with Carlius."

"Sorry to rain on your parade, but are those CLAWS Mary Sue has?" Ocean suddenly noticed.

"She might not've had them manicured in years. Remember, she is a hobo." Shaun reminded her.

Mary Sue had to admit it. She was part Asmodian. But, if Shaun and his friends found out, they might not want to take her on the adventure Shaun promised.

"Shaun, when are we going on that adventure?"

Shaun suddenly remembered. "Yeah, so, Carlius, Ocean, we are going to travel Elysea together. Fine with that?"

"YES! I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR AN ADVENTURE THROUGHOUT ELYSEA, LIKE FOREVER!" Ocean squealed.

"I guess I could join. No one has been paying attention to me lately. I guess they got tired of me playing the same song over and over again."

"Sweet!" Mary Sue said. She ran out the door. Shaun then called out to her.

"Mary Sue, wait! I need to get my weapon as well! We are going out in the wild, after all."

Mary Sue skidded to a stop, cartoon fashioned.

"I'll just run to my house. It's a few blocks away." Shaun then ran off.

* * *

><p>A few minutes later, Shaun returned with a really fancy sword looking like it would be much better for show than combat. Don't belive me? It was covered in freaking diamonds and rubies. His shield was also covered in said jewels. And the blade of the jeweled sword? It was... glass.<p>

What was he? A Templar? They don't deal much damage.

Actually, yes.

Despite his class being defense based, the shield didn't look like it was going to do much protection without breaking.

Ocean looked at the blade and shield. "You might want something else," she finally managed to say.

"But the sword and shield are pretty," Shaun whined.

"The shield will do you more harm than good." With that, she left for the weapons store to buy a new shield.

Carlius ran back to the group because Silver just came up with the idea to have him go shopping.

"I bought some potions for both HP and MP," he said while breathing heavily.

"It'll save lives," Mary Sue said, beaming brightly.

"You don't say? Besides, where did Ocean go?"

"To buy me an ugly shield," said Shaun.

Ocean came running back with a really ugly shield, but it looked like it could protect the bearer more than the jeweled shield.

"It's hideous! I won't want to use _that_ thing!" Shaun was simply disgusted.

"Sure, if you want to die. I might not act like it, but I care for you, Shaun."

Reluctantly, Shaun took the shield.

"Great! Can we leave now?!" The impatient Mary Sue asked.

"I guess," everyone else said in unision.

And with that, our epic adventure full of tropes and cliches began!

**Yes, the adventure has begun! Stay tuned for the next chapter! I'm gonna go take a shower and think of some ideas. Ciao!**


	4. Chapter 3: The Poeta Chronicles Part One

**Chapter 3: The Poeta Chronicles: Part One**

**I'm basically going on TV Tropes to get ideas. One thing I lack in is creativity. Getting ideas makes me merge the idea with a trope. That's how I roll. Anyways, the next chapter is here.**

"So, where do we go?" Mary Sue asked.

"I was thinking we invade Asmodae, cature the citizens, and enslave them," a certain tomboyish Chanter said with glee. (Yipee!)

"NO," everyone said in unision.

"Fine... But can we capture innocent people in Poeta then?"

"Well, the people of Poeta are weak. Why not?" said Shaun.

Mary Sue and Carlius rolled their eyes. Becoming criminals wouldn't do any good for Mary Sue's reputation.

But, due to Mary Sue's beauty that has to be unatural, but it isn't, like most Mary Sues, they could have a chance. The people would be so dazed of Mary Sue's beauty that they could capture them without much of a fight! It was the perfect plan.

But, then there was a problem. The cops would go all GTA on them. But they didn't care. GOLD! :D

"It sounds like a good idea actually. It's a deal," Mary Sue finally said.

"Are you people crazy? You just want money. My music can give us money," Carlius exclaimed.

"It's already set," Ocean said, grinning.

"Fuck."

* * *

><p>The band of to- be kidnappers had the teleporter teleport to them to Akarios Village, which was the largest living area in the island.<p>

"The biggest living area... is a village?" Ocean said in disbelief.

Mary Sue scanned the area. There were no police officers, but Watch members.

"Good news guys! No police!"

The criminal wannabes cheered.

"Umm, Mary Sue. Watch members," Shaun nudged the Sue.

"They're not the cops."

"But they protect the village. They could be dangerous."

"Damn."

Suddenly, a mercenary walked past them.

"I'm afraid not just watch members, but MERCENARIES. RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" Carlius ran away and hid behind a tree.

The group followed him. "Mercenaries? Really?" Ocean said rather mockingly. "They don't know anything 'bout this dump they call a home!"

"Neither do we. Besides, mercenaries can be very powerful. If they are protecting the village, consider us fried chicken."

"Why don't we attack the Watch members and mercenaries first? Then we can have the weakling villagers," Shaun suggested.

"Genius, Shaun!" Carlius exclaimed. "Butwe have to wait at night, when they are alone."

"Sorry to poke Aion logic through us, but the citizens never go into they're houses at night," Ocean said grimly.

"Then we shall go on a rampage and kill everything in sight," Shaun said. "Even if we fail."

Everyone nodded reluctantly.

* * *

><p><em>At nine in the night, a girl with pinkish blonde hair was seen. She had a magic staff, pink clothes, and a foul mouth. She stabbed a Watch member repeatedly with her staff., whilst screaming "DIE, MOTHERF*CKER, DIE!"<em>

_Another criminal appeared a few minutes later. He was a reddish- gold haired boy with a harp, and wore fancy clothes. He simply had the heal the girl who used the staff the incorrect way._

_Those teens weren't alone. A boy with a really ugly shield and a beautiful sword not meant for fighting got in the girls' way. He simply was protecting her, due to his great defense._

_The fight between the Watch members and the teens raged on for several minutes, then the mercenaries joined the fight. The teens were outnumbered. However, they were too strong._

_The fight raged on for another minute when an arrow suddenly pierced a mercenary. The shooter then stepped out of the dust, revealing a beautiful girl the criminals age. The Watch members and mercenaries were so stunned by her beauty that she and her friends could dispatch of them even more easily._

_Soon, the criminals escaped before someone not traumutized by the the archer's beauty could defeat them._

_The Watch and mercenaries suffered a great loss that day. The bounty for the criminals capture is over 9000 pieces of gold._

_The witnesses who watched this horrible event, we apologize for having you watch this horrid event._

~Poeta Police report

**Well, I will now be updating slower than usual. School starts tomorrow, and is blocked by the school. I'll try to update as much as I can.**

***Edit* I was strolling through the story, when I came across something in my AN. "It" is . I don't want to spark confusion for future readers. Thank you for hopefully understanding.**


	5. Chapter 4: The Poeta Chronicles Part Two

**I highly apoligize for not updating this week. I had no ideas on what to write. Besides, today, when I should be writing, I downloaded Rift instead. Too much time on my hands, I should be writing this story, I know. Anyways, here is chapter three.**

**Chapter Four: The Poeta Chronicles- Part Two**

Akarios Village was in shock. Why would random people come and kill some of the Watch? Wait... WHY WEREN'T THE WATCH MEMBERS TRAINED TO HANDLE MENTALLY UNSTABLE CHANTERS, GUYS WITH FANCY SWORDS, OR AN OBVIOUS MARY SUE? This is confusing... Like that Tara chick who wrote _My Immortal _wrote this herself. But the insane Shiny Silver Eevee was writing this. And she can be unstable at times as well. (I'm not joking)

* * *

><p>Mary Sue and her friends were hiding in the Daminu Forest. Forests were the perfect place for hiding. They had trees and were dark and-<p>

Ocean screamed, "WE FUCKING GET IT!"

"Oh my Aion, WHY ARE WE BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL?" yelled Carlius.

"This humor is so forced!" yelled Shaun. "Silver better learn how to be humorous!"

Well, I never said I was good at making excellent humor. Back to the story.

"Hey," a voice said. Everyone screamed.

"You call yourselves skilled at knowing Atreia's history, but you don't know what I am?"

The voice seemed to come from a tree.

"You overheard us?" Asked Mary Sue.

"Yes, I did. What you said insulted me."

**FLASHBACK**

_"Mary Sue, are you sure the forest is good for hiding?" Asked Carlius._

_"Um, yeah. I mean, aren't we skilled at knowing Atreia's history? It's not like trees have faces and can hear us or anything."_

_Ocean leaned against a huge tree. "Yeah, seems _so_ likely, girly. I've seen some weird shit when I was little."_

_"Well, we simply have to hide in this forest. Trees are just stupid things with no soul. I have no idea why they are called 'living things.'"_

**FLASHBACK ENDS**

"And what you said PO'ed me. I wish I could kill you, but I'm like a tree," the tree said.

"What the hell are you?!" Mary Sue stared at the tree that apparently "talked".

"I am The Sleeping Elder, an Elim. Let's just say this, you woke me up."

"Doesn't he seem out of character?" whispered Carlius.

"SILENCE," the aged Elim bellowed, hearing Carlius somehow.

"Make me, you stupid tree," Ocean taunted.

"Oh, you little Chanter, if I had arms, I would-"

_WHACK!_

"Fuck you, Chanter. You fucking killed me off!"

"Oh, boo hoo. Why don't you grow a pa-"

"Ocean, stop," Shaun touched Ocean's shoulder. "We need to leave the forest. The Elder is dead. Everyone in the forest will be searching for our blood."

"But he was so annoying I had to make him shut up!"

"We need to leave, now."

Suddenly, the forest creatures attacked, not because the elder was killed, but because they were corrupted by some evil I finally threw in.

Each group member ended up fighting one (or two) race at a time. Carlius fought the Sparkies and Slyphen. Ocean had the Elrocos, killing each of them with one stab. Shaun had the abex and Mary Sue had the strongest enemies, the worgs, because she was a Mary Sue. And Mary Sue won, because you know why.

The gang finally made it out of the forest, and continued their quest of epic stupidity.

**So, I worked two days on this chapter. I was too busy playing Rift today. Anywho, sorry for the delay. I'm trying to think of ideas, I promise! Anyways, I was listening to PMD3 music while writing the last few sentences. The whole PMD series has awesome music, even if I haven't played 3 yet!**


	6. Chapter 5: The Poeta Chronicles Part 3

**I am so sorry this is late. I had writer's block. I still have it. I'm going to just randomly pull things out of my mind because I don't want this any later. But, without further ado, Chapter five is here!**

**Chapter Five: The Poeta Chronicles- Part Three**

"Master, there seems to be a problem," a seductive voice rang throughout the room.

"What is it, Ghara?" an obviously evil voice asked.

"The forest I corrupted..."

"Get on with it, Ghara!"

"Master, a bunch of kids... they destroyed my attempt to take over Daminu Forest!"

"Damn it! I thought you corrupted the damned forest animals?!"

Ghara sighed. "I _did_. Those fools killed the corrupted animals, as well as the Sleeping Elder I corrupted!"

"Ghara, I thought you were a sorceress powerful enough to be my right hand man- er... woman."

"Master, I am sorry. We need to stop these fools before we can start your evil plan. I swear!"

"Send in Hudos. He is powerful enough to take care of those meddling kids."

"On it, Master."

* * *

><p>"Stop right there in the name of Aion!" a police officer said to our "heroes".<p>

"We just walked right out of Daminu Forest, and you found us already?" Shaun said.

"We knew you were in Daminu Forest. We just like making our criminals suprised," the officer laughed.

Ocean started saying some innapropiate things that will end up making the rating go up to M when two more police officers walked up to her and grabbed her by the arms.

"And we are afraid, due to _you_ being the one who killed the most people, _and _used a staff incorrectly, will be serving the most years in prison, which is over nine thousand."

Four more officers grabbed Shaun and Carlius, and led the criminals away.

But, wait! They forgot Mary Sue!

That was probably due to her Sueness, making the police officers forget about her.

Mary Sue just simply said,"I have to go rescue my friends!"

* * *

><p>Shaun, Ocean, and Carlius were thrown in a small cell.<p>

"GET BACK HERE, YOU WIMPS! THIS IS NOT OVER!" screamed Ocean.

Shaun and even Carlius had to tackle Ocean to the ground. Her anger issues could get them killed!

"Ocean, be quiet!" hissed Carlius. "We could get executed if you keep on screaming like that!"

"I WILL NOT BE QUIET! I WILL KILL BOTH OF YOU IF YOU GET ANY CLOSER!"

"Aren't we close enough?"

"YES! NOW PREPARE TO DIE!"

Due to having their weapons taken away, Ocean simply bit and kicked Shaun and Carlius.

"Ouch! Ocean, stop!"

"NOT UNTIL YOU DIE!"

Shaun kicked himself away from Ocean. Her body was fairly weak, even though she was a rampaging psycho killer.

Shaun dragged Carlius away from Ocean, and knocked her out cold.

"I think we might need a different room," Shaun then yelled to his captors that they need a different room from the insane Chanter.

The officers ignored him. He and Carlius deserved to suffer Ocean's wrath for helping her kill the Watch members.

* * *

><p>Mary Sue walked a lone road when she met him. The creepy guy in black armor.<p>

"Where is your friends?" He asked in a raspy voice.

"Police officers kidnapped them! Can you help me rescue them?" she asked the creepy guy that could be 100% trusted.

Mary Sue suddenly remembered she could read people's minds, the power getting thrown back in because Silver forgot. She knew this guy could be trusted, but something, aka the smart part of her mind, was telling her he could NOT be trusted,

Mary Sue gave in with the smart part of her mind, and read the guy's mind.

Mary Sue gasped. His name was Hudos, he had a wife and four children, and he worked for some guy only called "Master". And he was sent to kill Mary Sue and her friends!

Mary Sue whimpered. She backed away from Hudos, then ran away.

"Wait, strange girl! I wasn't told to kill you or anything!" He chased her, caught up to her, and grabbed her by her shirt.

"Get away from me! I can read minds, and-" Oops. I don't think it is a good idea for Sues to go tell the bad guys their powers like that. Mary Sue quickly realized that and quickly pulled out her bow. He couldn't live after finding out Mary Sue's secret!

Wait, this story makes no sense. She told Shaun, and didn't kill him.

But that didn't matter now, did it?

Mary Sue shot Hudos' left arm.

"Ow! You brat! I'll show you!" Hudos pulled out a black sword, made out of metal, _not_ glass.

He swung it at Mary Sue, but she dodged.

Mary Sue shot another arrow, but she only could get the edge of his shoulder. That didn't matter, anyways. Hudos roared and charged at Mary Sue, and managed to slash her in the leg.

Mary Sue whimpered in pain, but that didn't stop her. She shot another arrow, right in Hudos' back. He roared again, and charged at Mary Sue AGAIN, and slashed her other leg.

Mary Sue fell on her knees. She couldn't give up, just yet. She got another arrow, strung it to her bow, and aimed it at Hudos' heart.

**I think I did enough for right now. It is short like my other chapters, yes, but at least it is a chapter. But, anyways, review it! Feedback encourages me to write more. :)**


	7. Chapter 6: The Poeta Chronicles Part 4

**I'M BACK, BITCHES. MSAiA IS NO LONGER ON HIATUS. Expect short as hell chapters though. (Even though my other chapters are short enough) I also think I'll move the rating up to M. Ocean is the main reason why.**

"Ghara, you dumb bitch! The girl just killed Hudos!" Master Whatever His Name Is shouted. He was obviously not pleased.

"Master, that girl is stronger than we thought! I saw the whole thing, through some random crystal ball that has no obvious relations to the story whatsoever, and she is obviously stronger than Tiamat and even Ariel combined.

Also... I think she has Asmodian blood in her. Her eyes glow in combat!"

Master got _really_ pissed and started throwing things like a two year old. "IT. IS. IMPOSSIBLE. TO. HAVE. ELYOS AND ASMODIAN. BLOOD. YOU. SEE. HOW MUCH. THEY HATE. EACH. OTHER?!"

"Unless..."

"WHAT?!"

"The girl... is of a species called a Mary Sue. I'm not saying she is, but I'm pretty certain that might be the case."

"Huh?" Master suddenly became as calm as a kitten, even though kittens are evil.

"A Mary Sue is a common species that is perfect and not like other species. They are mostly found lurking in modern media. A good example would be Bella Swan. Dumb whore is just so perfect."

Master Whatever His Name Is had no idea what Ghara was talking about. Who the hell is a Bella Swan? It's not like she's a girl that had perverted mythical beings (that were derailed as heck) fall in love with her, and had obnoxius fantards that will kill you if you dissed the franchise she was in.

"Other... examples, Ghara?"

"There are many. I'll just list those that are popular fanfiction characters.

We have Ebony, a goff vampire, Jenna, a Silverlite that enjoys having sex with "heroes", Laura, who is calm for a ten year old, Sara, who is a homophobic rascist dumbass..."

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, Ocean was beating the fluff out of Carlius. Shaun just stood there, undazed.<p>

"GET HER OFF OF ME!" Carlius was screaming. Still Shaun was undazed. Wait... I think he's sleeping...

Let's invade his privacy and see what he's dreaming of. It might be of hot girls in bikinis. Oh, _you wish_, my perverted friends.

* * *

><p><em>Shaun was dreaming of something all were hot girls in bikinis, strippers, Mary Sue who is a stripper in a bikini, and all the stuff perverts enjoy.<em>

_"Whoo! Hot girls, fuck yeah!" Shaun was having, liek, _da bast dream eva!1

_Suddenly, the dream started to change. Instead of the strippers and hot girls in a bikini, there was blackness. Pure blackness. Almost like something evil was going to pop up at any second..._

_"SUPRISE MOTHERFUCKER." A middle aged woman wearing a _very _exposing robe popped up._

_"Who the hell are you?!" Shaun was enraged. He wanted to continue dreaming of hot girls, not some middle aged woman sorcereress chick who thought she was a hot girl._

_"My name is Ghara. I work for Master... uhh... what's his name again?"_

_"What kind of name is Master... uhh... what's his name again?"_

_"SILENCE YOU DUMBASS. I am here to tell you Master and his minions, including I," Ghara gave a not-so seductive grin,"Are going to _TAKE OVER THE WORLD! _HAHAHAHAHAHA."_

_"Dude, that's so eighties. Are there any good master plans for bad guys these days?" Shaun reacted cooly, 'cause he's chill._

_Ghara just stared at him blankly. "This plan is 9001 percent original, dumbass. You need some schooling."_

_Suddenly a raspy voice called out: "GHARA, WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO FINISH TELLING ME ABOUT MARY SUES? I THOUGHT YOU JUST HAD TO GO TO THE BATHROOM."_

_"Fuck," Ghara looked at Shaun. "Do not think this is over. I WILL TELL YOU MORE OF MASTER'S EVIL PLAN. AND THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT. HAHAHAHAHA-" Ghara then dissapeared into dust, mid evil laugh._

* * *

><p>Shaun woke up. "Holy shit, what the hell was that?" Then he just shrugged it off. It was probably nothing. <em>But he made a mistake. It was not something to shrug off. <em>Dun dun dunnn.

* * *

><p>"Fucking Mary Sue! You killed me. Now I'm melting...," Hudos was melting. Oh, wait... you already knew.<p>

So Hudos basically dissapeared after he finished melting, leaving something behind. No, not a heart. Who has time for that? It was MONEY! Lots and lots of money. Oh, and worthless scraps that serve no purpose other than to clog up bag space. We all hate those types of items.

"Yay! Money!" said Mary Sue. She took it all, as well as the worthless crap.

Then Mary Sue continued on her epic journey to bail her friends out.

**And I'm done with this chapter.**


	8. Chapter 7: The Poeta Chronicles: Part 5

**Urgh! I just decided to play Aion again recently and now I know why I ragequited and installed Rift instead. Poisonous. Freaking. Bubblegut. How cheap is that thing? I killed all the monsters near it, used the immunity, wasted most of my kinah for some stronger armor, and still it kicks my ass.**

**Anyways, I'm toning down on random humor, my nonexistant readers. The humor IS forced, as chapter five states. The swearing will be toned down as well. This isn't a rated M fic, you know.**

**Instead of the random, out of nowhere humor, why not a more sarcastic humorous approach? That will increase this fic's quality, and won't be something an autistic fourteen year old pulled out of her mind. Wait a second...**

**Well, anyways, next chapter.**

"Hi there, you nice looking piece of ass, heheheh."

Mary Sue finally reached the nonexistant in canon jail that had her friends hold prisoner in. Yet, the jails guards had felt it be the duty to be pedophiles and flirt with the most beautiful girl in the world.

Well, it wasn't Mary Sue's fault. Her beauty was a curse from Aion.

"I want to bail my friends out," Mary Sue stated in a 100% mature voice.

In a very climatic scene, the guard said, "Okay."

And the guard did what he promised. What a good boy.

"FREE," said Miss Who Else Would Talk in all Caps?.

She was lugging an unconsious Shaun (who was still sleeping) and Carlius. (who actually got his ass kicked by Ocean)

"But on one condition," the nameless pedo guard cut in.

"And that is?" asked Mary Sue.

"Some weird shit is happening in Poeta, and probably all of Elysea. It's probably the Asmodians, but we've seen mines. Lots of mines. With Dukaki kobolds working in them. They're probably up to no good. Why don't you and your idiot friends stop them at the closest mine?

Oh, and tell those freaks at Melponeh's Campsite that you're going to stop them. They seem interested in those mines, too."

"Yes sir," said our loyal heroine.

"Great. Now get outta here!" And with that, our heroes were kicked out of the police station that will not serve a purpose ever again.

"Well, that was awkward."

"Let's just get through the freaking Daminu forest and get to Melponeh's Campsite," Ocean, who was still pissed even after being bailed out, said.

And to put it in simple words, they headed back to the forest, dragging sleeping Shaun and probably dead Carlius with them.

* * *

><p>"Um, Ocean, did you throw a fit and destroy the forest?" Mary Sue and Ocean stood on a patch of land with less trees and wolves. Lots of dangerous wolves.<p>

"Not yet, whore," Ocean looked over. "Hey, are those kobolds I see?"

Some scraggly looking creature things were cutting up wood. Ohhh, that's why it's called the "Deforested Area".

The scraggly creatures were tannish and about three feet tall, with either big bulging eyes or just barely eyes at all.

"Heyy, Ocean- Mary Sue? When'd you get here? And why aren't we in prison?"

"Shaun woke up... I think. Time to kick his ass," Ocean prepared to give Shaun an ass kicking, but Shaun held up his hand.

"Whoa, whoa, Ocean, I'll be quiet." And then Shaun shut up.

The group attempted to sneak past the kobolds and wolves, but they noticed them.

Uh oh...

**Happy Cinco de Mayo, the few people who bothered reading this crappy parody.**


	9. Chapter 8: The Poeta Chronicles: Part 6

**The author is back after a year hiatus, bitches.**

The kobolds and worgs were obviously not happy that they were disturbed by a few stupid humans that decided to rain on their it's 100% okay, because they will probably fall for our very beautiful heroine.(She's even more beautiful than you, hehe)

"I... I think they noticed us," said Shaun.

"Isn't it obvious enough?" Ocean grumbled.

If you were a low level without a party, you'd be doomed, because there was so many of those Dukaki kobolds and worgs. But, since we got four heroes, they should be fine. Right? RIGHT?_RIGHT?_

Mary Sue then had a bright idea. A bright idea to stop those monsters, in case you didn't know.

"We- we should go in a certain order! Shaun, you go out front. Ocean and Carlius will buff you from behind. And I'll attack-"

"You know Songweavers can't buff, right?"

And so, not only Mary Sue, but the author, has made a mistake. A flaw. This... this shouldn't be!_Mary Sue is supposed to be perfection. Not a mess._

Mary Sue took the mistake very seriously. Such a flaw, no! How was she going to be the smartest, most beautiful, and strongest Ranger there ever was if she kept on making simple mistakes like this? How unfair!

"Mary Sue, you made a mistake. IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT," yelled Ocean. Clearly Ocean doesn't forgive people for making a pity.

Mary Sue cried beautifully as tears fell down her beautiful face. Shaun could see that Mary Sue was upset, but because he didn't know how to deal with girls, he just tried to ignore her. Ocean, meanwhile, pretended not to give a single fuck and looked at her chipped nails instead. Carlius was still dead, but he'll respawn later. This does take place in an MMORPG, after all.

Ocean, however, was slowly becoming fed up with Mary Sue, and as she watched Shaun try to fight off the monsters, she wanted to tell Mary Sue to shut the hell up _so bad_. But even Ocean knew that would make matters worse. She just decided to help Shaun clear out the monsters.

As Shaun and Ocean fought the monsters, they realized something. They weren't going to get very far without a healer and Mary Sue. Too bad Carlius was still dead, and Mary Sue was still crying beautifully.

"Ocean, do you got any elemental stones? We're going to die unless we get a healer," said a very exhausted and about-to-die Shaun.

"Well, _I _know some healing magic, but I'm not going to use it on someone like you", huffed the strawberry blonde.

"Do you got some elemental stones?" Shaun almost shouted.

"I sold them. I didn't think we'd need them."

Shaun was understandably furious. "We needed those!" he spat. "Now that we have a dead healer who actually isn't a selfish brat like yourself, you are the only one who can actually help us all right now!"

Then a worg jumped out at Ocean and killed her. Shaun was all alone. That also meant two dead healers.

"M-Mary Sue?" Shaun stuttered. But, due to Mary Sue's crying, she couldn't hear him.

Yeeeep. Shaun really was all alone.

It was almost as if he'd "cri evrytiem". But alas, Shaun wasn't the one crying. It was our beautiful, smart, charming, and perfect heroine that was crying. Because she was so sensitive. It was almost as if you'd feel bad for her. Almost.

* * *

><p>The worgs were preparing their attack on Shaun. Cleary he was going to die an MMO death. As usual. I mean, it happens like a gajillion times.<p>

And then, the padding ended! You know why? Because I'm sick of padding.

A beautiful deus ex machinima special power activated. Mary Sue's crying made the monsters explode into rainbows. Cleary, it was "lol so randumb".

Angels sang, and Elysea was at peace for a split second. Even Aion, the beautiful crystal tower he was, shed a tear, somehow.

Oh, and those losers Carlius and Ocean came back to life. Bravo.

"Mary Sue, you did it!" Shaun said happily.

Ocean blinked a couple times and, said, "H-how? How did you... defeat all those monsters?"

_Damn it_, she thought. _She's better than I thought she was_.

Mary Sue stopped bawling, smiled, and blushed a kawaii desu blush. So animu.

"I-I did it...", Mary Sue monolouged.

"Yeah, yeah, we know. But why? What did you even do?" Ocean was furious. Again.

"She cried," Shaun replied.

Let's just say things didn't go well. At all.

And Carlius was forgotten by the characters once again.

**My sister left this very encouraging note: I thought mary sue was so perfect that she didn't cry sister senpai**

**Also Aion better have more stories than FNAF and all the newer games by the next time I update.**


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